I was two weeks old

This morning I had the opportunity to take pictures at a very special event. My friends, the VanderGeissen's, finalized the adoption of their baby, Maleah. It was a sweet and special event to be a part of and, it wasn't until i left the building that the significance of what i had experienced, flowed out of me in tears.

You see, the last time I was at an adoption ceremony, it was my own. Forty-five years ago, I was adopted from an agency in Santa Barbara, California. My parents had also given a home to my brothers, six and eight years older than I and then they decided they wanted a girl.
I was two weeks old when they came for me. My dad used to say that I was talking the first time he saw me. I've always wished there was some way to play back the movie and see THAT moment.

I grew up with adoption being my normal. I joined my older brothers in a safe and stable home and extended family. My parents loved God, each other and us. There was never any doubt.

And, probably, as a result, I've never really had an itch to pursue the identity of my birth parents. More recently I have thought about doing it, to say thank you. In the best case scenario, I would have the chance to let some man or woman know, that I was grateful for the choice they made. Forever grateful.

Now, I have had the opportunity to watch this whole story unfold from an entirely different perspective. I've watched Clint and Laura and their three boys wish for their girl, then find her, then the first picture we had of her, then they went across the world to get her and then I was blessed to be at the airport when they landed and today to see them sign papers in front of the judge.

From the outside you might notice she is different from them. There were certainly times growing up when I felt different from my family.
I've also had the opportunity through my friendship with Laura to know a little of how their family has changed as a result of her joining them. I dont know that I'd ever thought of this aspect of my own adoption until today.
But, she fits and belongs, she is loved and appreciated as she is, and she is blessed. As am I.

On my way home, I couldn't get this Scripture out of my head.

How blessed is God! And what a blessing he is! He's the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in him. Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son. Ephesians 1:5

Sisterhood

My world has always been a man’s world. First, I had brothers. And then, if you asked me to name my closest friends in high school- i would say Debbie and… Shawn, Richard, Mike, Billy, Paul… college- pretty much the same. Most my ministry partners have been male and the team I serve with is 90% male.
Not that long ago I took inventory of my relationships. I realized that i was hiding behind “the girl next door” gig and that if I was honest, I had to admit I was…afraid of women. You see, men are… simple, straightforward, in some cases flattering and in most cases, dare I say it, low – maintenance. Women, on the other hand required things of me. My time, my story, my energy, my truth and maybe a casserole or yard work after a crises. Scary.
At that time, I felt like I had hit a wall in terms of my relational and in some ways, spiritual growth and I felt like God was whispering to me that it was time to take the risk of deep and meaningful relationships with women, rather than hiding out in the guys locker room, so to speak. 
Initially, I tried doing this on my own, picking friends, people I, for one reason or another, wanted to be friends with. For the most part, this didn’t work out. People moved on or away, life was busy, opportunities were hit and miss, and in one case, I broke trust with a friend and in the end I think that cost me the relationship. My plans failed.
Then one day I noticed that God had placed people in my path, people I didn’t pick and who likely wouldn’t have picked me, and along the way, unlikely circumstances formed alliances. Lives woven together by (I believe) God’s hand. These relationships have challenged me, enriched me and been, outside of family, the most significant in my life. Life was good.

And then, I got a phone call from one of these friends who asked if I wanted to go to Hawaii with a group of women, for a week, nearly half of whom, I didn’t know. My “tomboy” instinct told me to run. Before this, there was no part of me that wanted to do an extended vacation with a bunch of women. But quickly I realized this was an opportunity and a risk I needed to take. Oh, and it was Hawaii after all- and I'm not a total idiot.
So last week, for the first time in my life I spent 7 days with 5 women. That’s a lot of fruit and lip gloss, loads of pictures and laughter and a little wine and talk of irregularity and a few tears. And, quite honestly, it was one of the most real, tender, loving experiences of my life. So thank you, my Maui sisters, for being such a wonderful blessing and surprise in my life. What a privilege it has been to get to know you and to be better known by this circle of friends.

where the healing begins

My job description is basically this.
Create a space where people meet God.
Tall order? BIG GOD.

Yesterdays services were such a wonderful reminder that it's not about us... it's not our church, it is His church.

Most Sundays it is hard to know what is going on in the hearts of the people in the seats. We just have to prepare well and trust God to do the rest, but this week when people moved out of their seats and took on a posture of humility before God, I came undone.

And then in the evening as I seperated the hundreds of cards our congregation had written to the family of Kyron Hormon and the principal and staff at Skyline Elementary I felt incredibly blessed to be part of this community, even when we grieve together. To see mothers and fathers reach out to one another, and step parents sharing a story others cannot, educators feeling the weight of one anothers burdens. It was really a hopeful and sacred task.

I could make a quick list of the things which didn't go right Sunday morning.
But instead, I would rather make a list of the things which did.
I got to experience excellence, beauty, caring, grace, mercy, humility, authenticity, unity, service, creativity.

To see people connecting with their God, to see healing begin. It is rewarding work and why I do what I do. Sundays.

Love on her arm

Yesterday was a first! Molly got a tattoo. She has wanted one for quite a while now and has done lots of sketching and thinking about what to get. Originally 18 sounded a ways away and it was easy to put off thinking about it being a reality. Then she turned 18 and as is her way, she was deliberate and thoughtful about her decisions. She didn't just run out to get it, she kept debating what she would get that would have the most meaning. One day she KNEW what to get. The outline of Helene and a Scripture verse that means alot to her since her trips there.

We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith.
Romans 12:6a

When I think of tattoos I think about the permanency of them and how I'm fickle.
I also admire the idea of art that tells a part of your story.
I pictured wrinkled old skin with ink- not so pretty.
And, in Molly's case, I pictured her on her wedding day in a beautiful dress and wondered about how it would fit.
But when she chose Helene I settled in to the idea. I know Molly left her mark on the children of the island and that the island left it's mark on Molly's life and ministry.

The actual process of it was very interesting to me.

This is the map Dominic drew on the whiteboard at the clinic in June 2009 - Molly's first trip to Helene. We printed this out and took it in to show to the artist we chose, Lewis Hess, at Atlas Tattoo in Portland. We chose Lew because our friend Aria had a tattoo I loved and we wanted a great artist. Molly talked with Lew about the design and placement of the tattoo, the type of font for the script, every detail. She knew what she wanted. Then Lew traced it out for her to review and they tweaked it. Originally the island was upside down and she had to tell him about how to write out a scripture reference etc. Then you try the tracing on for size and tweak again. Obviously it's important to get it right! Then it's down to business. While he was working Molly explained about the trip and the island and why it mattered to her. I even overheard her clarifying what "Spring Break in Helene" is compared to other Spring Breaks that kids her age take. :-) Molly said it didn't hurt really at all. That helped me :-) It went very quickly and then it was done. We were so excited I messed up the angle on this... but wanted to get a pic of Mo, the tattoo and Lew! Looks like he's done this picture before. So yes, a trip to the tattoo shop was a push for my "different kids, different stuff" mantra. But in the end, I love the way Molly made her decision, what she chose, that she's happy with it and that we got to share the experience with her.

it bears repeating...

This is a post from Father's Day 2009 - location, Helene, Honduras.
I was reviewing these because our youngest daughter Abby is there now. It says what I would want to say about my dad in tribute to his legacy to me.

Church here, reminds me so much of my home church as a child. You are encouraged to share your testimony, a song or some Scripture during the service. Tonight Molly and I shared the following with the island and our team at the midweek service.

Hello church, I am Janet and this is my daughter Molly.
I want to thank your church and the island for our experiences here the past two weeks.
One of the things which stands out to me about our time here is that every time we asked one of our guides or an islander during visitation what we could pray for, they asked us to pray for their unsaved family members. This was the first thing they would mention consistently.

This reminded me of my father who passed away a year ago this week. Tonight Molly and I stand and share together with you as a testimony to his legacy of faith. He fought cancer for over 10 years and when his health got to the point where he had to make a decision between “quantity” of life and “quality” of life he chose quality. I believe he did this because he had lived a full life and knew that all his children and grandchildren knew God as their Savior.

I remember the conversation where we discussed this decision and I asked him maybe for just a little more “quantity” he responded immediately with laughter and then this. (molly read) "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7.

Even though he never traveled to another country to do missions work, he and my mother have faithfully supported mission work around the world and I have felt his presence here so many times on the island; in the way our worship is similar, the hummingbirds at the clinic and mostly because he was like so many of you, a man and father of faith who served and loved his God, his family, his church and community.

So I want to thank you for your hospitality and witness to us as it has been so good to be here with you all. In closing I want to share some Scripture with this church. In my quiet time on the island I have been reading Paul’s letters to the churches he loved and this one reminded me of this church, which we now love.
We ought always to thank God for you, brothers, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love every one of you has for each other is increasing. Therefore, among God's churches we [will] boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring.
All this is evidence that God's judgment is right, and as a result you will be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are suffering. [our] God is just: 2 Thessalonians 1:3-6a.