Monday, September 14, 2009

Toes back in the water...

Last week when my blog was mentioned from the platform in church I realized I dont do this anymore. I wondered why. I dont even read others' blogs anymore.
I've blamed it on other social media things like twitter and facebook, they are convenient.

Yes, I twitter. Nothing worth following but I like knowing what my friends are doing and generally blurting out random thoughts, so it works for me. I dont follow many people and have no idea why anyone would follow me.

Yes, I facebook. I like this alot. Not because it's replaced real relationships but because it's helped me connect and develop relationships with people I wouldn't find or make time for otherwise. Oh and I love pictures.

But recently, I've become more and more aware of some things.
I've laughed at the quick wit, creativity and humor and at times envied others, Josh Higginbotham, if you must know. He just eats and plays well.
And, I've wondered if I could ever type as fast as Erika Lee.
I've hurt people by not responding or reaching out.
I've hurt people by not reading for a day and missing something important to them.
I've been there, I've expected others would know things about me, because I'd posted it.
And, I've been hurt by things I have seen and read.

I wonder if the accessibility makes us more inclusive or further publicizes even unintended exclusivity?

I dont have answers, but I do know that I am more carefree/careless those two places than I am when I blog. And frankly, my life isn't that carefree nor do I wish to be careless.
Maybe that's it... 140 characters is way to small of a glimpse in to a life.
My life is messy right now.
My community is messy right now.
The people I am closest to are in many cases deeply hurting or in life transition. I am affected by this, so it's been more difficult to write when so much of my story this year hasn't only been mine.
And, I am messy right now.

I am more aware the power of words/thoughts, blogging comes from a deeper place for me, and is risky. But, if I am honest, I miss slowing down to think outloud here.

So, thank you Barb Feil for encouraging me to do my random stream of consciousness thing again... i think i'll put my toes back in the water.


Heasleye said...

I've missed you here. Nice to see...your toes. And words. :)


Jenni Clayville said...

love this! i'm glad you're putting toes back in the water.

... and coming from someone who does mostly social media because she's a lonely stay-at-home-mom... social media will never replace face-to-face interaction. we have to fight hard to not let it.

love you... and i'm looking forward to your random streaming.

Melinda said...

I fully understand what you are stating here. You said it in a way that my head was nodding up and down in agreement, all of the way through.

I, too, just jumped back into blogging a week and a half ago. I had only posted a couple of times over the summer.

Yonas said...

Awesome blog entry from an awesome person!

Many people said hi when they saw me at church after a long absence due to chicken pox. Some wouldn't dare to give me a handshake, some would give me the 'is he contagious' look while trying to appear I remember, you were the ONE and ONLY who gave me this warm and genuine hug as I entered the sanctuary..I just wanted to let you know, that hug meant a lot to me.

Don't ever say that you don't reach out enough...because I know at least for me you've done your part...either through facebook or at church!

Stay cool and great as always! :)

Anonymous said...

It's a gift that I'm grateful you share... LOVE that you're back at it! ~ LLP

Yonas said...

I just reread my opening sentence. Just wanted to add, the awesome person I was referring to your blog entry..not mine lol