Tuesday, June 24, 2008

"He's Gone"

This is what my brother said to me last night...
My father has...
what do you say? he's gone... he's passed away... he's died.
There it is...
I have never lost someone this close to me, someone so important to me. Losing Mike's dad was brutal, I remember... and my grandparents have died... but this is my dad... so I'll work it out here...

The slamming of the door is deafening
Everyone else around me seems to need to talk
How do I listen well when all I hear is that SLAMMING door over and over again.

I am totally at peace with his being in heaven, no longer in pain, but I know he was worried about Mom when he died, I wish he knew that we'll keep her company and care for her, but I know it won't be the same as living life daily with her for over 50 years, and so did he... and so does she.

I woke up this morning to piano music on the radio. At 3:30. This was horrible. I hope soon that it will be a joy to hear music again but for now it just makes me miss him.

--- San Francisco airport, traveling home

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, honey.

I was just praying for you about this yesterday morning.

I'm sorry and I love you.
Karen

Janet Fraser said...

Thanks Karen... so much!

Stephanie said...

Love you and praying for you and the family! I am so sorry...

xo

Anonymous said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear this. Praying for you.

Elaine

Kristin said...

I'm so sorry. Even though you knew this day was coming, it doesn't make it any easier when it finally does. We will be praying for you & your family in the days to come.

Kristin for the Hamanns

Melinda said...

SO descriptive. What a journey you are on.
Yet you were asking about me and Michael and how things are with us, today.
You will always be your dad's daughter.

Yonas said...

*hug*

Jenni Clayville said...

I'm praying and crying with and FOR you. I wish I could do something more for you.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry. He was great man in many ways.

Our prayers are with you and your family.

Sincerely

M Hall & Family.

Laura said...

Janet..have been praying since you shared on Thursday...so proud of you sharing your grief and letting us encourage, support and love you through this. My prayers are yours...

Anonymous said...

I'm praying for you.
Love you.

Anonymous said...

I promise ... you will feel joy again when you hear music ... and even during the times when it makes you feel sad ... you will feel joy and gratitude for the love of music he gave you. My tears flow for you and your family. Grief sucks ... AmyE

Rose said...

praying for comfort and peace for you and your family....your father seemed like an incredible man no wonder it is so hard to lose him. praise God for the relationship you two have. My heart hurts for you Janet, but remember His heart hearts even more.